Bit of a nothing day today. I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed. In fact I slept until about 6.30am which is a good hour longer than normal. The quality of my sleep was ok. Chris (yin to my yang, or vice versa) got up happy enough off to do his CBT, bike test, or to attempt it for the 3rd time, because the ice and snow have prevented it on the previous 2 occasions. 3rd time lucky it seems as he borrowed my car after the school run and is still not back actually, it’s been 6 hours!!!

Anyway I digress, Emily (15) got up, dressed, breakfasted etc without complaint, as did Jenson (9) and Lewis (6). Ellie (17 lives with her father for many reasons too boring to touch on) had rung 82 times and sent me numerous texts and messenger messages ranging from how horrendous I am as a parent to how bereft she is about life because she missed the college bus. Lewis had my phone, it’s a a bit of a ritual in the morning. As long as he’s dressed, hair and teeth done, shoes on and good to go he can watch whatever he likes (within reason) on YouTube. By the time I talked to her (El) she was ok. Daizy (4) I got up managed to half dress, PE today so she goes in her kit, no shoes, socks or coat but hey I can do that in the car park by school, winner! She had a bit of a paddy when I did her hair but this is a daily occurence so I thought nothing of it, rallied the troops got everyone, bags, lunches, coats etc into the car and… no Daizy. She’d gone back to bed in just her t-shirt and now she needed a wee too!

On to the loo, downstairs one because it doesn’t have a hurty seat like the upstairs one?! Your guess is as good as mine, so ok hurried knickers and joggers as far as the knees while on said loo, plus socks, threw shoes and coat into car, wiped a foofe pulled everything up raced out of the door strapped child in to seat and we were away.

Emily to her school in time for breakfast club, over to Jenson’s school for breakfast club, down the hill to get my daughter Ce’Nedra (27) and my grandchildren Javiah (7) and Shiloh (3) from the bus stop and take them to their school with Daizy and Lewis.

Pull up outside the final school in the run, but at the wrong entrance ffs! Shiloh and Daizy do not want to go to school. Ce’Nedra manages to get Javiah and Shiloh to go in. Fortunately one of Lewis’s teachers was passing and took him for me or I think I may have had trouble with him, he was telling me all about the tummy bug he felt sure he was about to get.

Just Daizy then, I managed to struggle with the shoes and her new bag, by this time a teacher from her class realising I was in trouble came out to the car and took her. I ran Ce’Nedra home to do her house work and managed to get an hour of training it. This wasn’t a bad morning as mornings go. Pretty standard, on the good side if I’m honest, they’re often so much worse because more of the children have found something to moan about or the domino effect of 1 child triggering another.

No reason for Meh, just a normal morning, not a work day. Watched “Call the midwife!” and cried like a baby, I so often do, it’s an emotive programme.. But there’s something not right in my world, something is slightly off. I am uneasy about the fact I can’t get Chris on the phone or text. He is inherently selfish in the sense that if he wants to do something he does it even, even if it’s an inconvenience. If he wants something, even if we can’t afford it he has it but it isn’t like him to leave me with no car seats. I can’t imagine a 2 hour test could would take 5 even if it took 30 mins to drive the 12 miles to the test centre and another 30 home.

I’m torn between feeling ridiculous for this sense of dread and ringing the hospitals. I’m not sure if I’m avoiding the news in case there’s an accident reported…It’s my car, they would’ve checked with DVLA and have been to tell me surely. If he was leaving me, he’d have taken things with him. My mind is running all sorts of soap opera worthy scenarios. The phone rang, it was a wrong number, Mrs Clarke they were after but I felt sure it was bad news!

If he saunters in I’m honestly not sure if I’ll punch him and shout or burst into tears, then shout.

I’ll keep you posted

Up date, idiot husband returned about 8 hrs after leaving and telling me he’d be 4 max.. I was relieved, then maddened he couldn’t see why I was concerned #men

A x

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