The real cost of giving

When you do something for someone else, whether it’s time consuming,financially costly or not how do you feel? I mean really.

I recently realised despite being the type to autonomously help, it’s not always the kind, altruistic action I would hope. I’m a busy person, I have a busy life, it’s an extremely happy one but it is filled to the brim. As long as I’m exercising & doing some form of centering like simply stopping in gratitude, yoga, meditation or ROMWOD to reign in my ADHD I can finely tune my life so it all fits in nicely and even cope with unexpected change with just a bit of a mind wiggle. Sometimes despite this, I help someone and resent the adjustment to my own plans, the lost run, the late dinner, or simply because the person wanting the help is perfectly capable of doing whatever it is themselves & frankly not as time poor. That’s not altruism, that’s sacrifice and there’s nothing particularly kind about doing something while resenting it.

They (whoever they are 🤷‍♀️) say if you want something doing you should ask the busiest person you know & it will get done, I think this is probably true. We’re used to fitting things in but where is the value to allowing yourself to be a doormat? You’re just teaching people to treat you badly. “Love you neighbour as yourself” isn’t just telling you to love your neighbour, you need to love yourself too & helping with resentment isn’t a feeling that inspires the love of self. Boundaries are important, I’m finally learning after nearly half a century. I will always help if I won’t resent the request or offer to help if I feel inspired to do so from a good feeling but I am finally allowing myself to be a priority in my own life & it feels good 🤩

Have a wonderful day, help when you can but don’t be a doormat 😉 A x

#middleagedread #bekind #helpwithoutresentment #dontbeadoormat #positivelife #followyourjoy

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