Beyond disappointed!

It’s been an age since I’ve written anything, in truth I’ve been reading as a form of escapism. My usual retreat/refuge is running but my knee is sore.. Experience has finally taught me rest and adaptaion is better than perseverance. I’ve been through the gambit of emotions since my last published post. I’ve been writing another one for weeks, dipping in and out, that in itself isn’t like me, I usual write bash them out and move on to the next because blogging was meant to be almost like a diary of my emotions, a snap shot of my life so I had something for my failing memory or my children could get to know me when I’m gone.

I do love to write but life has become stressful. I’d forgotten the feeling of acute stress if I’m honest. For many years I lived with chronic stress. My personal social situation was endemic of stress, relationships that were more like dictatorships, if they weren’t physically abusive they were emotionally so or both for a myriad of reasons I accepted this. It’s only when stress is removed or depression lifts the real realisation of the physical weight of them is realised.

This time I’m aware and reading is awesome deflection, I can’t imagine a life without books. The death of Sir Terry Pratchett in 2015 was devastating, I literally only read the last and 41st Disc World book last month. I have a first edition hard back but put it off for over 3 years because now I’ve read it what?! Now he’s really gone. I’m comforted by the fact I have everything he’s ever published (baring a cook book and a quiz book) and they’re an easy re-read. You never fail to find something new. I read some Robert Rankin, who I feel with go some way to filling a void.

Anyway, this mindless mumbling is my start at something like writing again. No real topic but my disappointment in myself for failing to blog consistently, the loss of both Granny Weatherwax and Sir T P and that I didn’t keep stress at bay.

My stress is child/young adult related but so much detail would be required by way of explanation as to be an unnecessary manuscript and will keep.

Happy thoughts to u all A x

#stress #middleage #lifechanges #ripgrannyweatherwax #ripstp #coping #survivor

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