I had to nip out earlier, breaking up a bit of a duvet day if I’m honest, on the radio was a discussion on the concept of Death Cafe’s, now I must say I haven’t Googled an explanation and came in on the tail end of the conversation but I gather the idea is to provide an environment where it’s socially acceptable to discuss death. This got me questioning if there was a need for such a thing but as such a thing appears to exists that essentially answers the question!
To me death is the inevitable conclusion of existence, it’s sad and I appreciate the sense of loss and sadness for those left behind but it is the one sure and certain end for us all. That is not to say I don’t believe in an afterlife and am unashamedly God squad but it quite another topic and even if I’m right or I’m wrong and there’s nothing to follow, we will all die.
Now I’m unsure if this is an unusual standpoint or the result of losing people in early life but apparently my late father had a similar feeling and expressed as much to my mother at the demise of my grandfather, his father, before I was born. My mother seemed to think this was odd but I totally understand. Interestingly my father had lost his sister Marjory when he was young an event his mother never really recovered from.
In any event death and dying still seem to be a taboo subject. Parents quite rightly try to discuss the practicalities of their deaths with their offspring, funerals, wills and so on all too often only to be shushed possibly because we find the idea of the loss of our parents abhorrent. Jokes are made about death to lighten the mood. Genuine conversations about death make us fear our mortality or that of our loved ones. I’m personally not afraid of death it’s the idea of leaving my children without my input and love that I fear
I have personally lost my grandparents, father, twin brother and some close friends but it’s very definitely not something I discuss often, people are uncomfortable with the emotions that surround death and loss, again probably for the reasons stated earlier and pain, while I don’t fear dying I certainly don’t relish the idea of dying in agony.
For whatever reason it can be very hard to discuss death, it’s affect on us whether it’s the loss of a loved one, our own mortality or the idea of or journey towards death. Harder to broach the subject with those whose death will affect us most.
So while death cafes initially seemed a peculiar notion the more I think about it, the more I find the idea of talking to a stranger who can empathise because of similar experiences or whose attitude and viewpoint to death is similar to mine or vastly different and can challenge my perception the more intriguing I find it and believe it could be some thing therapeutic.
#deathcafe #death #dying #taboo #foodforthought #life #middle-aged